Real Life Conversations

Husband: “Babe, I can see the outline of your thong through your yoga pants.”
Me: “Babe. I’m married with a child. Nobody gives a fuck about my thong but you.”
Silence.

Me: “Ech. The guys at work were telling me this really gruesome, disgusting story the other night and I couldn’t eat my meatloaf. I was starving!”
My mom: “Well, you should tell them vagina stories. Freak them out.”
Me: “They have kids. Once you’ve seen what comes out of vaginas, the mystery is gone. You fear nothing.”
Silence.

 

Preview of “Blog Signature”

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