What Your Bridesmaids Aren’t Saying

Dear Bride,

Please pay attention to these top ten gripes I’ve compiled from hours of Bridesmaid bitch sessions.

Love,

The rest of us.

jessjustin_074

1. Weddings are stressful. We get it. If you need something from us, just ask. We cannot read your mind. We also do not want to get stabbed on your wedding day because we did not purchase the correct shoes.

Please be clear and concise in what you expect from us.

2. Weddings are expensive! While we would love to do all those fun activities you always pictured in that 80’s wedding montage you have constantly playing in your head…we cannot afford a full-on spa weekend. We also may not be able to afford a bridesmaid dress, plus specific shoes, plus getting our hair, nails and makeup done the day of.

Please be understanding and accommodating when it comes to cost.

3. Your wedding is special. It’s important. It’s fucking time consuming. We have other shit to do. We will try our best to make all of those dress fittings, gift openings, bachelorette activities, bridesmaid luncheons and family showers…but we may just not get there.

Please understand we too have lives.

4. Speaking of showers, you do not need more than two showers. You are not the Duchess of Cambridge. You are important but not that important.

No more than two showers.

5. The bridesmaid gowns you have been envisioning may look hideous on real people. Don’t fixate on the Pinterest pictures, please. When you are ready to commit to a dress, please try it on for yourself as well as seeing your girls in it. Until you have worn a dress, you will never truly appreciate what your girls are going through.

Try on for yourself any bridesmaid dress you are considering.

6. We have stuff going on in our lives too. Not every conversation should be wedding related.

Please don’t make us dread your wedding.

7. As we all grow up, our schedules get more and more complicated. Waiting until the last minute to provide information to your bridesmaids is incredibly inconsiderate. If you do not have the time to get us the information we need to make your special event happen, then don’t be dissapointed when we haven’t ordered our dress in time because you text us the night before the payment is due.

Get us all the important dates WAY in advance.

8. Thank you cards and Thank you gifts are imperative. Spending $200 on a dress, $50 on shoes, $40 on hair, nails, makeup etc is par for the course. But when the Bride doesn’t even acknowledge the effort we put into looking great for your big day, it’s incredibly frustrating.

Acknowledge the love we’ve been showing you. Otherwise you may find yourself standing up there alone.

9. Do not ever think it is okay to tell your Bridesmaids they cannot be pregnant at your wedding. Literally one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever heard is a Bride telling her Bridesmaids they cannot have children until AFTER her wedding.

Again, you are important. We love you. But you get a special day. DAY. Not 9 months.

10. This is ridiculous, but someone has to say it. Feed your bridesmaids! For the love of God, feed us! It’s not fair to expect us to be there early in the morning for hair, makeup etc without some snackies. Or to make us wait for hours between the rehearsal and the required dinner. Everyone loves a Bride who supplies mimosas and finger foods.

We put up with alot. Throw your girls a sandwich and some booze occasionally.

Now go be a Badass Bride.

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3 thoughts on “What Your Bridesmaids Aren’t Saying

  1. One of the worst wedding stories I’ve heard is a bride who made a bridesmaid take a pregnancy test on the night of the bachelorette party. Apparently Bridezilla didn’t want any excuses when it came to everyone getting blackout drunk.

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