Dear Pregnant Lady: Embrace the crazy.

This was the second year that I sat on the Committee for my local Police Officers Ball.

In 2014, I was asked to sit on the Committee as the designer of ALL the paper goods, logos and signage for the event. This was of course done as a donation and with absolutely no profit made by myself or the other event professionals on the committee. I did it purely for my (full time job) coworkers to have a great night out celebrating each other as law enforcement officers AND to support a great cause, The Special Olympics of Nebraska.

The Committee was spear headed by mainly two other females (and a slew of useless dudes), and I tried my best to take EVERY SINGLE suggestion thrown at me to heart. I tried to carefully consider every opinion brought to the table with a  sort of open-minded thoughtfulness that only Saint’s can maintain.

In 2015, I was pregnant and could not have given two shits what anyone else thought…about any of it. I picked the theme, the colors and the overall look of the event. If people didn’t like it…they shut their mouths or got fed a serious spoonful of crazy from yours truly.

I would say I was unable to control my hormones and feel regret of some sort now, but I don’t. Having already survived one terrible pregnancy, I totally embraced the hormones this time around and openly threatened people’s genitalia and lives. Embrace the crazy, bitches. There are few times that women are allowed, nay, encouraged to act bat shit crazy and pregnancy is one of them. So yeah, I won’t lie, I milked the “Pregnancy card” this time and basically forced through everything I felt strongly about for the event.

AND….

It was a huge success! Imagine that!

What did I learn? Two things:

1. Men CANNOT deal with a pregnant lady. They are terrified of your uterus. Embrace it.

2. Everyone should always listen to me. About everything. All the time.

**There were a million great photos from this year’s event and I will share them in the next post. For now, embrace the crazy, ladies.

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The Return

A lot can happen in a year. Baby #1 becomes a sweet, crazy-haired toddler who suddenly has classes, play dates and a schedule. Baby #2 arrives and quickly throws our house into chaos. Add to that an expanding business. Promotions. Events. New adventures. And quickly the year can get away from you.

2015 arrived 5 months ago but in my head I’m still recovering from Christmas. How did May sneak up on me? Just weeks ago I was counting down the days until I could squeeze out Baby #2 and be done with the misery of pregnancy. And suddenly I’m almost two weeks into my maternity leave, still wearing pajamas most days and watching trashy tv to keep me awake. (By the way, have you watched ‘Louie’? What the hell is wrong with that guy?)

Long story short, I’m back. I’m blogging. I’m designing. I’m surviving two children.

It’s time to update you on all the sweet happenings of the last year and get working on the brand new stuff I’ve been brain storming. Be ready. It’s going down.

**Photo Credit: Megan Michael Photography, Omaha, Nebraska

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Easter Toddler Photos

 

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I have to give every bit of credit for these amazing photos to Ms. Megan Jones of Megan Michael Photography in Omaha, Nebraska.

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The backdrops and bunnies were by far the cutest I had ever seen. AND the bunnies were trained. Trained MODEL bunnies! They actually turned and looked at the camera when they heard her start snapping away. Amazing!

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Admitedly, I walked into the photo session concerned that my 18-month-old was going to try and love on the bunnies a little too aggressively and we would end up with a squished pile of fur, but they were miniture pros. So great with the kiddos. I was stupefied.

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Amazing! I love them so much!

Happy Easter, friends!

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Queen of the Nerds

Even when it was uncool, I was a nerd. Even when I was a jock, had friends, had boyfriends and a social life, I was a nerd.

A Batman loving, science fiction reading, History channel watching weirdo who’s sense of humor wasn’t always well received.

It took awhile for me to hit my stride. As a teenager I was stereotypically self-conscious and often replayed uncool moments in my head for years. To this day I remember the awful speech I made in my middle school French class about RollerJam (Yup. Loved that shit.) or the stupid WWE clip I played in a presentation on law enforcement as an adult. These moments, while admittedly sometimes embarrassing have made me realize that embracing my nerd is much better than shoving it deep down inside and watching in horror as it spills out in an epic show of geekery.

As an adult, I embrace and appreciate my dork side. As a mother, I realize how lame it was to ever hide any part of myself.

An hour long discussion with coworkers about which of all the great action stars would win in a real-life battle royale (Chuck Norris)  is something I now look forward to. Debating and googling why the martyred colonists of the second Aliens movie were actually on that God forsaken planet in the first place (Terraforming) has become the norm.

I suppose then, the fact that I dress my daughter in super hero tshirts, leggings, bows and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle socks should not surprise anyone who knows me. Neither should the fact that my toddler regularly receives praise from strangers as polite and “something special.” She is openly regarded as one of the smartest, pig-headed and ornery children ever to be born of my family (which says a lot).

And I have no doubt that she is destined for great things.

She is without a doubt, my tiny Super hero.

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When her nerdy starts to shine through, and she begins to question her ability to fit in or stand out, I hope that my own dorky traits will call to hers. I hope the lessons I have learned as a nerd, dork, loser, student, teacher, jock, outcast, social butterfly, partier, planner, good guy, bad buy, friend, sister, daughter and mother will somehow rub off on her. Because I have learned a lot in my short lifetime and some of my favorite lessons were hard won as an outcast.

My favorite lesson? Nobody else is looking at your big ass in that dress because they are too busy worrying about theirs. Go do something great. Something worth your life. Venture on and rock that dress.

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Guns & Balls.

I am on a committee to plan the first Police Officers Ball in our area in a decade. I found myself on this list after answering a chain email asking for help. I then caught swine flu after a particularly aggressive cuddlefest with my daughter and was sick for a week. When I returned I had assignments and responsibilities.

So now I’m planning a ball (when I’ve never been to one) for lots of armed people. Awesome.

To be fair, I’m not doing much of the planning. I’m an amazing “brain storm” girl but with my current work load/baby load/side work load, there’s no way I can do much more than theorize great party plans and contribute some design work. (Also, my idea of a “Prom Themed Ball” didn’t go over real well.)

To top things off, I was guilted into raising the money for/gathering the ingredients for AND building several gift baskets that would be raffled off at a separate fundraiser a couple weeks from now. I have an addiction to fundraisers. I love them.

So here I go on another whirlwind season of planning.

On a side note, I have completed my new office and simply need to collect the masses of children’s’ books/socks/toys that gather on the floor and pictures of the complete project will be up soon. (Additional side note, it’s badass.)

For now I shall leave you with yet another promise to return soon…and this…

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Yup. That’s my daughter’s awesome Valentines Day card to all of our family. Saving that one for the Wedding Video!!!

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2014 Bucket List

Years ago I wrote my Bucket List. I wrote it in a pretty notebook that went on a shelf and then into a box. I recently found that list and scratched off, “Have a kid.” That was it.
I suppose I shouldn’t feel that bad considering how much effort went into making that one kid. And since making her there’s the constant care and attention that a toddler needs. Especially one with my temper and her father’s constant need to push buttons (literally and figuratively).

But it occurred to me as I scratched that one accomplishment off my list that my bucket list had been goals for a lifetime. Maybe what I needed to mark my progress were slightly more achievable goals for a finite amount of time. Perhaps a year…

Duh. I should create a bucket list for 2014! After all, the sound of “2014” brings images of great space wonders and futuristic gadgets to mind, I might as well set some awesome goals for myself.

And with that I present my 2014 Bucket List:

1. Be a better mom.
2. Appreciate how awesome a mom I am.
3. Be patient with my husband.
4. Take my dad to the zoo.
5. Take my mom to a concert.
6. Take a family vacation…and relax.
7. Give up coffee for a month…or a week.
8. Determine a more consistent workout regimen that doesn’t revolve around chasing my dogs while Baby sleeps.
9. Speaking of babies, work on baby #2.
10. Make Baby’s nursery magical.
11. Take my husband out on a fancy date involving a dress and steak.
12. Relearn how to walk in heels without looking pained.
13. Build my business!
14. Blog at least three times a week.
15. Go on an adventure….alone.
16. Enroll in at least two “Mommy & Me” classes.
17. Go to church more often.
18. Try a new recipe once a week.
19. Host a fancy dinner party.
20. Take Baby to two museums I’ve never been to.
21. Grow the gonads to pay for a booth at a bridal show.
22. Make my official will and start a funeral fund. (Depressing but needs to be done.)
23. Repaint, redecorate the master suite.
24. Successfully conduct monthly giveaways for The Affair Shop.
25. Make more Mommy-Daddy time !

This little project was a weird sort of therapy for me. I suggest it when you’re feeling overwhelmed by life or just unfocused.

And I also expect everyone who reads this (maybe it’ll just be my parents and some friends) to keep me on track.

Good luck!

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